One-sentence MCU summaries for your consideration

[dragongirlg]

Full credit to my beta and partner-in-crime deadpooltheimmortalredshirt, who originated most of these late last night:

1. Bruce Banner can’t get tenure.

2. Peter Parker dates an arachnophobe.

3. Thor the meter maid uses Mjolnir as a boot, but he also helpfully jump-starts people's cars with his lightning hands.

4. Vision gets a virus.

5. Groot gets lost on Earth, hides in botanical garden, and scares the ever-living shit out of visitors.

6. Zola didn't die in the bunker. He just became king of the Twitter-bots.

inaugural shit poast

[tenlittlebullets]

Let's kick off with a toast to the most universal MCU ship of them all: Disney/our poor fucking wallets

Rejected team-up miniseries you would watch the fuck out of

[tenlittlebullets]

Go go go go go.

I offer for your consideration: Winter Soldier & Rocket Raccoon: Who Are You Callin' Mostly Armless?